Something I've been wanting to get out

 There's something about loneliness that I just can't seem to accept. It's that even though you're with yourself, you're not with yourself.
In the sense, you're always in the thought of why would someone leave you or treat you bad which makes you leave eventually.
You're hurt and crying over it again and again. Four months have passed and I haven't been able to move on from the recent experience
or trauma, whatever you wanna call it. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't mine. It was just the timing that wasn't fine. A lot has changed since then,
I've become stronger...I no longer let people in my life as easy as it used to be, I'm still a sweetheart, but probably not for everyone.
Being sweet, nice, kindly comes with a lot of disappointment and frustration which then leads to vague sadness which you can't define.
Last year, I got close to this girl, for those of you who know me, you'd know who...and things were going smooth until she found
a guy for herself, which I was really happy about coz she was getting the happiness she deserved like everyone else...but it came with the cost
of my sadness and me eventually having to kinda end things with her like she would like to call it. Not because I liked her, but I was her
"best friend" and I didn't feel like I was being treated like one in the later stages of our friendship. The months that came after you could say I lost her have been hard because everyone else around me drifted. All my college friends were gone, all by her side thinking I was wrong,
having no energy to explain my side of the story...I let them go as well, I lost a lot more who I used to speak with often but that's life.
I don't wanna come here and crib about everything and call you all to my pity party and feel bad for me. I want all of you reading this to realise
that it's okay to get your heart broken by anyone, could be a person you love, your family, your friends, literally anyone. But don't lose yourself
in the process as I did. Yes, things will be hard doing it all alone, but in the end, it'll be worth it. Idk if she or anyone from that group will
read this, but I hope I just get a clear cut image of what happened to them when they found someone else. I have a few questions in my mind

1) Why does a new person coming into your life affect the time you spend with your old ones?
2) Why does life always treat you harshly, even though all you wanted was someone's happiness?
3) Why do people leave? Is it because we're boring? Is it because we're not worth it? I could go on and add threads to this question

These are a few questions I would ask myself every night before I slept for the few hours I could. I don't know what I've gone about writing,
but I just hope that I find myself in peace real soon, and my questions to be answered. I'll be shifting to a new apartment soon, so I just pray
that I find good people there who value me and don't give away false promises...fingers are crossed!